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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

For Our Little One

Everyone has a different way of expressing grief/emotion that runs deep. Today I have my own to express . . . through writing; my wife miscarried today and I feel the loss severely. It is strange the different way we cope with this; she can cry and talk about it, and I feel it bottle up at times and her pain becomes my own.

Tonight she lit a candle for our precious little one. I feel like crying; one flame lit by love for a dream now faded. There will be children. Of this I am sure. But they will not fill the place of this first child. Writing this out helps me reflect and open to our grief and to God. I am thankful to God for all that he has given me and especially my wife. And now I can thank Him for one more thing of infinite value:

One day I will die. I have always longed for that day because I will see the lover of my soul, Jesus Christ. But now I have a new hope and a promise from God; someone is waiting for me and my wife. We don't know their face or their gender, but we know they are the fruit of our love.

Now that I've written it down my tears have finally come in greater abundance. Goodbye my little child, I'll see you in Heaven.


ElizabethMarieKauffman said...

My older brother died of miscarriage. Though I do not know what it must be like to be the parent, I do know what it's like to be the sister of someone who died in that way. I never knew him, what he would look like, or what his personality would have been, but that has never stopped me from dreaming of him, my older brother. Lovingly teasing me, yet always there to protect his little sister. I know that he's up in heaven praying for me every day. And I can't wait until I finally get to see his face, and be able to walk with Jesus holding my right hand, and he holding my left.
I am praying for you and your wife during this time.

Assr lei∂r ykkarr or∂.


JT Norlander said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. And you will see this little precious child in heaven.

In nomine Patris, et Filius, et Spiritus Sanctus.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

God bless and comfort you.


Hannah said...

Oh, I'm sorry...I'll pray for you and your wife.


Bekah said...

I'm so sorry...
I will pray for both of you.


Jacob R Parker said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife, Scott.

Seven Sisters said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. As one who has lost 14 precious children, 13 to miscarriages, I understand.

During the loss of one I struggled greatly as to "why, Lord", and He very clearly spoke to my heart, "Trisch, this baby is an eternal soul." That has helped me so much. YES, that precious baby will be awaiting you in Heaven, and although your arms ache to hold them, nurture them, raise them here, you *will* be with them throughout all Eternity.

I can't say I understand how the Lord gets more glory from my losses than raising them for Him here, but when I get there (with my wonderful Homecoming Party to greet me! ;) I will understand and it will be more glorious than I can imagine!

Many prayers for you and your sweet wife. I leave you with another gem the Lord spoke to my heart during several tough times, "There's GLORY on the other side!"

In Him,

Trisch (T-Tapp friend of your mother-in law)

James said...

Scott that was incredible, what you wrote. I don't ever think I have seen you write anything that has ever been so real and from your heart. You will see that child someday, and will be praising God with all you have together. I feel for you guys so much, but I thank God that your focus is on Him even in the midst of it all. God bless you both,

Mosaic said...

I am so sorry.

Heather Burroughs said...

On Sunday July 5 2009 I too lost a little one through a miscarriage. We were almost 8 weeks along. Not enough to know if we had a son or daughter. It was so heartwrenching. Glenn was all excited to be a big brother and it was very hard to try to explain to him that sometimes babies can be sick and have problems and when that happens Jesus takes them to live with him in Heaven right away so they don't have to be sick here on Earth. We later named the baby, Glenn and I. I thought it may help us to have a name for reference and to make it a bit more real. He liked Jean and I liked Jesse so we have Jean Jesse Boies waiting for us in Heaven. Glenn is a big brother, his sibling has wings. I will miss my 2nd child for the rest of my life. But we know that one day Jean will be there to great us and I am sure that there is a special spot up in Heaven for all the babies. Jean was there waiting for your little one so they have each other to play with. I am glad about that. I don't know how to make the hurt any better, I haven't got there quite yet but I do know that it is a comfort to me to be able to say and be sure that my Jean is in heaven right now. Giggling and playing and knowing God first hand. They are up there waiting for me and thats a soothing thought. I pray that you both are able to take comfort in that thought as well.



"Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones." -Proverbs 16:24

In a world where morality is forsaken and Christ neglected, wholesome books are uncommon. The themes of my writing are love, self-sacrifice, and honor.

I see my generation turning from God to the gods of this world. I see homes torn apart in the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification. Children are murdered by the millions every year . . . without ever seeing the world outside their mothers' wombs. Through fiction I strive to encourage those who are willing, to stand against these things and be heroes and heroines; chivalrous, gentle, full of righteous indignation, and the fear and love of their Creator.